It was all numbers, numbers, numbers as Rockstar Games parent company Take-Two had its first fiscal quarter earnings call recently. That said, we still do not know when Rockstar exactly plans to release its fifth-generation crime spree on PC game format, Grand Theft Auto V. Since its announcement late last year, we’ve seen a few rather nondescript screenshots, some assurance that the company is “busy working on the game” and that teaser trailer released way back last November. We know GTA will be back on the streets of Los Santos (that’s a fictionalized L.A. for you non-GTA fans) but we don’t know yet about the protagonist, the gangs, the corrupt cops and all those other details. But Rockstar’s new marketing campaign for GTA V suggests that the notorious Epsilon Program will be back in Los Santos.
In fact, it looks like Epsilon never left. They’re just as kooky and nutty as they were back in 1992 (the year GTA III – San Andreas’ events took place), and it shows on their “official” website. The Scientology parody has its 12 Tenets of Kifflom on the site’s front page, and you can see a brief sampler on the featured photo. Just a little heads-up to the gamers sneaking a peek during work hours – the 12 Tenets are a bit NSFW. My favorite is Tenet #1 – the world is 157 years old. Really now, guys? How then do you explain the Renaissance, the American Revolution and all those facts we learned (or fell asleep to) in History class? I told you these guys are off their rocker.
According to “Jonas Ackerman” from Blueberry, San Andreas, “Kifflom changed my life. I used to have a well paid job, a family and good prospects. Now, I’ve given that up to find real meaning in wearing light blue and proclaiming my real religion.” He’s just one of the many nutjobs who have let Epsilon take over their lives. Could this, and the other testimonials on the Epsilon site give us some clues regarding GTA V’s main characters? It’s quite possible. The Epsilon site and Twitter account are good for a laugh, but we hope those those (and other GTA V marketing campaigns moving forward) would actually clue us in a little further on the upcoming Rockstar title.